DHAKA, Oct 26, 2018 (BSS/UNICEF FEATURE) – Critical or harsh behavior of
parents towards their children may hamper their mental growth, leaving a
negative impact on their minds, which in the long run can hinder their
“Critical parental attitude like scolding, negative comments or punishments
leave negative impacts on children’s development which in the long run may
ruin their academic life”, said Prof Dr MSI Mullick, Chairman, Department of
Psychiatry of Bangabandhu Sheikh Mujib Medical University.
The development of a healthy self-esteem is extremely important for
happiness and success of children, he said.
The negative approach of parents makes children lose confidence and have
low self-esteem, barring them from trying new things, mixing with new people,
the expert observed.
They feel unloved and unwanted, hesitant to be in social network and
because of lack of confidence; they lose attention in study, stop liking
school or any kind of social gathering.
Sakib, a 14 years old boy, could not mix with other children of his age.
When he tries to tell anything about these, he hesitates. He is confused in
every matter and not attentive in his study.
He was like a normal baby and had no problem in his behavior. But the
critical parental attitude which he faced in form of scolding, made him
lacking in confidence.
Like Sakib, many children in our country are leading a peace less life for
the harsh behavior of their parents. In this regard, psychologist Dr MA Mohit
Kamal, associate professor of National Mental Health Institute and Research,
blames the parents saying scolding, yelling, and hostility towards their
children show a lack of faith and may provoke rebellion.
At home, schools or work places, children have to face negative approaches
in different ways. Parents, teachers raise their voices or speak firmly to
the children if they break any rule or have done anything wrong.
Dr. Mohit Kamal suggested showing faith in children by making requests,
polite commands and use of the word ‘please’ rather than using negative words
like no, don’t, stop, quit, and can’t.
Parents should say ‘Please pick up your toys now, dear,’ rather than
saying, ‘Stop leaving your toys everywhere’, he said. Critical attitude of
teachers may also build a child’s low self- esteem and sometimes child wants
to avoid school.
Experts say, teachers too should deal with them softly and be assertive
instead of being strict and tough with them.
Dr. Mullick said to have an open and smooth communication with children, it
is important to listen to what they have to say too.
“Sometimes parents compare their children with their friends, cousins or
neighbors. This type of attitude destroys the tranquility of mind of the
children. All the time they feel a competition and get disheartened with a
mere failure,” he added.
A little understanding of a child’s psyche, love, support and a lot of
patience can change things and unruly child can calm down and become the best
one, said the experts adding parents need to try in a positive manner.