DHAKA, Oct 15, 2018 (BSS/UNICEF FEATURE) – Critical or harsh behavior of parents towards their children may hamper their mental growth keeping a negative impact on their minds, which in the long run can hinder their intellectual development.
“Critical parental attitude like scolding, negative comments or punishments have negative impacts on children’s development which in the long run may ruin their academic life”, said Prof Dr MSI Mullick, Chairman, Department of Psychiatry of Bangabandhu Sheikh Mujib Medical University.
The development of a healthy self-esteem is extremely important for happiness and success of children, he said.
The negative approach of parents makes children lose confidence and have low self-esteem that bars them from trying new things, mixing with new people, the expert observed.
They feel unloved and unwanted, hesitant to be in social network and because of lack of confidence, they lose attention to study, stop liking school or any kind of social gathering.
Sakib, a 14 years old boy, could not mix with other children of his age. When he tries to tell anything he feels hesitation. He is confused in every matter and not attentive to his study.
He was like a normal baby and had no problem in his behavior. But the critical parental attitude which he faced in form of scolding and harsh behavior made him lacking in confidence.
Like Sakib, many children in our country are leading a peace less life for the harsh behavior of their parents. In this regard, psychologist Dr MA Mohit Kamal, associate professor of National Mental Health Institute and Research, blames the parents saying scolding, yelling, and hostility towards their children show a lack of faith and may provoke rebellion.
At home, schools or work places children have to face negative approaches in different ways. Parents, teachers raise their voices or speak firmly to the children if they break a rule or have done anything wrong.
Dr. Mohit Kamal suggested showing faith in children by requests, polite commands and use of the word ‘please’ rather than using negative words like no, don’t, stop, quit, and can’t.
Parents should say ‘Please pick up your toys now, dear,’ rather than saying, ‘Stop leaving your toys everywhere’, he said. Critical attitude of teachers may also build a child’s low self- esteem and sometimes child wants to avoid school.
Experts say, teachers too should deal with them softly and be assertive instead of being strict and tough with them.
Dr. Mullick said to have an open and smooth communication with children, it is important to listen to what they have to say too.
“Sometimes parents compare their children with their friends, cousins or neighbors. This type of attitude destroys the tranquility of mind of the children. All the time they feel a competition and get disheartened with a mere failure,” he added.
A little understanding of a child’s psyche, love, support and a lot of patience can change things and unruly child can calm down and become the best one, said the experts adding parents need to try in a positive manner.